2015 Divisionals Dive

The anticipation had been building all month, all season, really since the meet had ended last year. Divisionals, the climax of the season, was upon us again. The pressure to perform was, of course, still there, heavier than ever on my shoulders. But some parts were gone. The pressure was no longer liquid fear, coursing through my body and brain. Now it was anticipation, not about what I was going to have to do, but I was going to get do. The pressure was still mounting, a perennial knot at the pit of my stomach, but you just had to do your best to ignore it.

It was still early when we got to the pool. It was crowded, but full of people I knew. The first jump into the pool was cold, but it loosened the knot in my stomach. The next one was hardly warmer, but it cleared my mind. By the third jump the water felt normal, just an extension of the air. So, I began my warm up, each of four dives once, then twice. And then I had to wait. An hour until my event, each passing minute tightening the knot.

The ten-and-under girls went, then finished.

The ten-and-under boys went, then finished.

The girls got their ribbons.

The boys got their ribbons.

Then it was us. Fifteen more minutes of warm up. The water was cold again. The line was long again. I was nervous again. They read out the order. Eleventh. Last diver on the board. Wrap up in my towel, sit by my coach. Ten left until me. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five left. Towel off. Four. Visualize the dive. Three. Go through the motions. Two. Stand up. One. Walk to the board. Sarah Raman. 101B, forward dive pike. Up the steps. One. Two. Adjust the fulcrum. Six and a half. Visualize one last time. Stop shaking. Start the approach. One. Two. Three. Four steps to the end of the board. Knee up. Arm circle. Knee down. Jump. Pike. Touch. Square. Open. Grab. Look. Reach. Legs together. Toes pointed. Hit the water. Pull through and swim. Come up for air.

Scores. 5 ½. 5 ½. 5 ½. 5 ½. 6. Grab the wall. Pull onto the deck. Wrap in the towel. Wait again. Fifteen more divers. Then five. Towel off. Four. Visualize the dive. Three. Go through the motions. Two. Stand up. One. Walk to the board. Sarah Raman. 201C, back dive tuck. Up the steps. One. Two. Walk to the end. One foot. Then the other. Turn around. Arms out. Head still. Stare at the wall. Pick a brick. Eyes steady. Up on your toes. Ankle press. One. Two. Three. Arms up. Swing. Jump. Eyes on the brick. Keep them open. Tuck. Kick. Arms on legs. Press. Hollow. Eyes Open. Reach. Legs together. Toes Pointed. Hit the water. Pull through and swim. Come up for air.

Scores. 5 ½. 6. 5 ½. 5 ½. 5 ½. Pull onto the deck. Wrap in the towel. Wait again. Fifteen more divers. Almost me again. Five. Towel off. Four. Visualize the dive. Three. Go through the motions. Two. Stand up. One. Walk to the board. Picture it. One flip. Come out. Dive it in. One to go. Heart beating. Stand up. Sarah Raman. 103c, forward one and one half somersaults tuck. Up the stairs. One. Two. Adjust the fulcrum. Six and a half. Arms back. Start the approach. One. Two. Three. Four steps to the end of the board. Knee up. Arm circle. Knee down. Jump. Throw Tuck. One flip. Come out. Lean in. Look for the water. Grab hands. Reach. Legs together. Toes pointed. Hit the water. Pull through. Swim. Pike save under. Come up for air.

Scores. 5 ½. 5 ½ . 5 ½. 6. 5 ½. Again. Pull onto the deck. Wrap in the towel. Wait again. Fifteen more divers. And then I do my inward flip. The scariest, my best. Nothing to be afraid of. Fifteen divers go slowly. Just one more easy little dive. Stand up, walk to the board. Nothing to be afraid of. The scariest, my very best. Nothing to be afraid of. Sarah Raman. 402c, Inward one somersault tuck. Up the stairs, to the end of the board. Turn around, Arms out. Tiny smile, deep breath. Rock the board once, twice, three times, jump. Throw towards the board. It’s exhilarating. Finally. Tuck tight. Spin. Kick. Something’s off. Hit the water. Big splash. Messed up. Not like it was supposed to be. Could have been better. So much better. Scream underwater. Come up for air.

4, 4, 3 ½, 4 ½, 4. Pull onto the deck, wrap in the wet towel. Wait for everyone to finish. Then the boys go. Then the awards. Dry towel. Walk over. Stand with the crowd. Coaches behind me. Friends next to me. Parents and sisters off to the side. In sixteenth place. Not me. Fifteenth place. Not me. On. And on. Heart beating. Shivering. Eighth. Might be me. Seventh. Probably me. Sixth. Has to be me. In fifth. No way that I did this well. From Cardinal hill. Not me. Maybe they forgot. No way that I did this well.

In fourth place, from Tuckahoe Recreation Club. Sarah Raman with a score of 92.6. Not 100, but not all that bad. And then for my friend. She’s elated, I can tell. She finally edged me out. In third place. Riya Saran. Score of 94.4. She got a big plaque. I got a small one. Better than a ribbon, I guess. But. So. Close! One dive! Two points away from third. Third! How could I mess it up! I’m happy. Better than I thought. Better than I hoped. Fourth. Be proud. Fourth! Fourth is cool. Fourth is nice. Fourth is good. But still. So close.

~ Sarah R.