I finally arrive at the sacred pond where I had frolicked on yesterday. It's a little koi pond surrounded with rocks that thrives in the spring with gold fish and algae fluttering about it. It has a waterfall, made of rocks, that gracefully spills its clear waters into the mother pond. However, it’s winter now and the pond that used to be a welcoming home to fish, is now a frozen chunk of ice and the waterfall that flowed so beautifully, now is hushed.
I take a few steps forward until I am standing on the rocks. With my hands, I sweep the thin sheet snow from the layer of ice. My fingers tingle because I’m not wearing gloves. Although the snow isn’t all off, I stop when my fingers turn red. Skating time! I step nervously closer to the pond. I lower one foot over the chunk of ice. I tread onto the pond with one foot still on the rocks. I carefully swing my other foot around and place it parallel to the foot already on the pond. I start to feel something happening beneath me. I quickly get my right foot off just in time but my left foot was not as lucky.
Craaack.
My foot is submerged in ice water and I just stand there. The numbness jolts through my leg like electricity. I stand there. My foot still engulfed in water. I stand there. Listening to the silence of nature sleeping. A branch from an evergreen lowers its snow to the Earth’s floor which is already cloaked in white powder. Just like the evergreen shedding its snow, I find the energy to raise my foot, drenched in a mix of ice and water, out of the pond. I sprint from the pond up the bitter steps, past the dozing oak, past the ice pool and the Japanese maple to the door that I swing open and throw my body inside.
I’m gonna need some hot chocolate!
~ Anna L.
I like how realistic your story is, and I like how you use strong vocab. CR
ReplyDeleteI like the repetition at the end where she is just standing there frozen. It's really good!
ReplyDelete-JH
I like the strong vocab.
ReplyDeleteJH
I like how descriptive your story is and how it seems that the whole place is alive.
ReplyDeleteI like the description you used in this! You've told me this story before but your wording in this makes it ten times more realistic.
ReplyDelete