I wake up.
THREE DAYS EARLIER
“You’re gonna kill yourself one day with your crazy antics,” my dad chuckled. My family always jokes about things that aren’t really funny. If I died my family would probably move in with my grandfather in Florida, and all of my friends would forget about me. My dad would have to quit his job, and mom would be the one who would pick up everything and make us leave. You see? That joke isn’t really funny. Oh well. If my family did move, my brother would abstain at first, but then he wouldn’t care. To be honest Alex doesn’t care. Ever. I can tell he likes this girl, but he won’t even try to ask her out. One day Alex is going to be all alone, and THEN he’ll care.
I decided to take things into my own hands. You know that girl that Alex likes? Well, she’s my best friend, Liz. She likes him too, but she’ll never admit it to me because you know, he’s my brother. Alex is in 11th grade, just one grade above mine.
I told Liz we were going to go out this Friday. What a lie. I told my brother that we were going to a party and he should come. What a lie. I told both of them to dress nice, and to be ready at my house, at 7 pm.
I called my dad, “Hello?”
“Hey dad I want to set up Alex and Liz-on a date-and I need money-can I have some-I’m broke-I won’t ask for anything for a whole year-please?” I gasped for air.
“Erm, okay. I have a fifty in my desk at home, you can take it.”
“Thankyouloveyoubye,” I hung up. And I ran to my dad’s desk. And I grabbed the fifty. I sprinted out the door, and ran across the street, and I entered the store.
10 dollars went to the cute little streamers I was going to hang up, 5 dollars went to scented candles, and 3 dollars went to a gold table cloth. I left the store and then I walked into the the Thai delivery store.
“Hi. Can I have 3 orders of the chicken pad-see-ew, mango and sticky rice, and egg rolls please?”
“Where would you like it to be delivered?” The man asked.
“Funny thing, well I would like it to be delivered this Friday,” I implied. The man looked at me with a weird look.
“Are you from the future?”
“No…”
“Sorry, it's just that my horoscope told me that their would be something happen on Frid-”
“Sir, I’m not from the future, I’m just really forgetful and if I don’t order the food now, I won’t remember until it's too late. Can you just have my order at my house by 6:30 on Friday?” I responded. He said sure and I paid him, and then I went home.
The next day, Liz asked me what we were going to do on Friday, and I said it's a surprise. Alex asked me whose party we were going to go to, and I told him some guy that lived a block away. What. A. Lie.
FRIDAY
The day finally came. When I came home from school, I hung up the new curtains, and I tried to make our musty house smell good. I stuck out some candles, and only lit a couple candles, so the house wouldn’t catch fire of course. I put the tablecloth over the table, and I put out a candle. I stepped back to look at my work. It was far from mediocre.
I checked my watch. 6:20. Ok. I then walked over to the Thai place, but then I realized they were supposed to deliver to my house. I got back to my house. I unlocked the door. It smelled good. Those expensive candles, my mom would always hide, had finally found their purpose.
Alex and Liz were going to show up soon, and they were going to wonder why we weren’t going out. They’re going to ask why I lied, and then they’re going to be reluctant, but they will accept that I set them up. And they will both know it was quite a good lie.
I heard a beeping sound and it was probably just my dad’s alarm clock but when I got to my parents room the alarm wasn’t going off, I walked downstairs to check the power panel but nothing is wrong I then went up to the kitchen.
Smoke. Smoke everywhere. The candles. The beeping came from the smoke detector. I started to run. But I couldn’t get out fast enough. My lungs couldn’t keep up. The smoke was everywhere. I couldn’t see anything. I persevered, I was blindly trying to get out, but then I ran into something and I rolled to the ground.
My lungs burned, my eyes were dry, and I couldn't see anything except fire. Fire everywhere, incinerating everything. Fire was engulfing my home, the place I grew up in, and it's all my fault.
I closed my eyes.
~ Celina R.
I love how you used a flashback in the beginning. I enjoyed reading this very much!
ReplyDelete-ALL
Thank you!
DeleteYour vignette is so good, I like the foreshadowing dream in the beginning, it made me really want to read the rest of the story.
ReplyDelete-JH
Thanks!
DeleteThe flashback at the beginning really hooked me, and it made me wonder what other surprises were going to ensue.
ReplyDelete-ot
Thank you !
DeleteI really liked the irony of this story even through the flashback.
ReplyDelete-MA
I liked how you hooked the reader with the flashback.
ReplyDelete-ME
This is really good. I like how you change the when the scene is taking place. That comment is probably Anna L^.
ReplyDeleteTHis is really good. I loved the hook and how it's looking into the future.
ReplyDelete